Dam Diligent is a fictional character born from the cauldrons of dark matter, he has a forked tongue and the eyes of Betty Davis and lives off activated porridge

People often comment about his handshake and many have been left holding a false arm. Dam boiled porridge using special stones which he placed at right angles in the pot. These communicated with his roots for he had many. Often when he swayed the porridge cooked more quickly. Now he stood silent, about to let forth his mornings Four Words. Yesterday he cried, “i can do it!” Today he decided to say, “No i can not!” These words would map his day and the mystery was auspicious. He would sleep with his head on the radar, its beams levitated his magnetic head like a soft cloud. It sang to him and changed his dark matter so he could time travel. One time he woke up on planet Earth again. Wack, fair on the side of the head! Of all the resting places he cried as he was chased away once again by Mother Nature wielding a broom

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